Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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