Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I stole a fireplace last night.
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
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I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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