Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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