...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
