I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
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Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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