In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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