Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
