I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
