Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
