come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
