??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
