he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dear god my vagina.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize