would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
