I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
