So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
