3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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