I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
