So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize