pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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