This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
