Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
