how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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