Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
