It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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