I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
