Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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