Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
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Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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