Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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