check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
