you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
