I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize