Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
