No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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