Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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