Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
