He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize