I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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