You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
