You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
