yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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