Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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