when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You can't motorboat a personality
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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