i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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