see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
