My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
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turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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