That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
