he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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