Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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