Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
