Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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