Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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