hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
