Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
wow bdsm is so cute
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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