:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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