I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
