Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You're earring is so big in my mouth
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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