I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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