After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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