how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
